Kaui: Estrogen Temple

On the 6th of November we flew into Kauai. Every one of the flights we took to the islands transferred through Honolulu, taking twice as long as if you could just go from island to island. We got to Lihue with no car rental and sure enough there were none available. The phone number for Tiffany, our Kauai contact only got voicemail. Well, they did have an island bus that went from Lihue to our Airbnb destination in Kapa'a fifteen miles or so away . Unfortunately this was a Sunday and the buses ran a half schedule.After two hours of waiting for a transfer we ended up at a skateboard park with 5 or so miles up Olahena Road to go. Liz, in semi-desperation, accosted a fellow in a pickup and negotiated a ride. I never spent a better twenty bucks. Just an hour before sundown with nobody actually expecting our arrival. Tiffany was on the mainland and her representative, Rhea, was new to the lodging business and was a rather casual person anyway. Nice place though. Liz was entranced with a real kitchen to work with, real drinkable water from the tap (our last two lodgings required bottled water, the tap water taken from cisterns), an actual washer and dryer, very comfortable bed, a wonderful view from the full length deck. Still no wifi connection.

View from the porch of estrogen temple

Where our Maui residence was pure testosterone, full of surfers, drifters, guys just looking for a cheap place to stay, mosquitoes, this one was soaked in estrogen. All the rooms had statues and artwork dedicated to female objects of worship for every conceivable religion, from Kali to the Madonna of Guadalupe. Different strains of incense floated through the air full time. Diaphanous drapes on the full length windows and french doors in the bedrooms and various dividers in the living room, which was huge. Sitar music, soft feminine voices sharing secrets and revelations, vegetarian potluck dinners, odd devotions involving singing in unidentifiable languages and a gong. No peyote, acid, or other proscribed substances however.

The next morning , after discovering the price of a commercial car rental on Kauai, we managed to negotiate a deal with Rhea for the house's elderly Toyota SUV. A good thing. We took Rhea into town for some shopping and I spent the trip fighting a strong pull to the right. The gas tank was VERY close to empty anyway. Stopped at a gas station, checked the right front. Outer shoulder worn to the cords, rest of the tread fine, extremely low on air. Temporary fix: overinflate the thing, get that bare spot off the road. Strong injuction to replace the tire and get the alignment looked after. Explained alignment. Blank look, vague promise. Well, I could nurse the thing along for four days.To the plus, the instrument panel had holy medals of every description and the rearview was hung with aromatic leis.

By then it was well after noon and we were told of a nearby hiking trail. Just a quarter mile up Olahena and go straight where road turns. 5 or so miles along ridges, around valleys choked with vegetation, ever uphill. Mud. Once again the intermittent Hawaii rain, sometimes drizzling, occasionally pouring, ever imminent. Lots of rainbows. Every few hundred yards, another breathtaking view. I will never sort out my files as to which beautiful view was where. As we found the other end of the trail, other hikers informed us we were about 11 road miles from home. Fortunately, yet another guy in a pickup heard our story and said he happened to live near the trailhead. Whew! Once again saved by the kindness of strangers. Liz later told me it was the first time she'd ever ridden in the back of a pickup. Some people grew up way too sheltered. No one in Hawaii we told this story to felt it was anything out of the ordinary. Just the way things work here.

Next day we did something totally uncharacteristic. We actually paid for a guided tour. Well, they had the kayaks. Only way to use them was to take the tour. Fortunately the group (14 total) took off at a reasonable hour, 10 AM. A nice orientation by our guide, John, an aside that double kayaks are known as divorce boats and off we go. It did soon become apparent Liz and I need to work on our paddling coordination. Never mind, we'll get it eventually. An hour later we beached the kayaks, shouldered our packs and headed off to the waterfall. The party consisted of all kinds, 12 years old to a few in their seventies. Should have been an easy hike, right? Aside from the waist-deep river crossing , the narrow muddy trail, the tree roots and rocks, I guess it was. Truthfully, I was surprised everyone did as well as they did. The 45 minute hike was worth it. Hell of a waterfall, nice deep cold pool. Eat our packed lunch, turn around and do it backwards. Not so bad going back even though we were paddling against the current, slow as it was. Not that we were going to do all that much the rest of the day. Just rest.

The big attraction on Kauai is Waimea Canyon on the other side of the island. Not such a big island, maybe a 2 hour drive. Like the rest of the islands, ridiculously low speed limits stretch out travel times. Worked in our favor, the Toyota had a pretty good shimmy at 50. The canyon was definitely worth the drive. Spoiler alert: Here comes the science. Kauai is the oldest of the Hawaiian Islands, about 6 million years. It used to be 10,00 feet taller than it is now, about 5,000 feet. Lots of erosion. Wierd rainfall patterns, lots of rain, 600 inches a year in places. many hidden valleys. Somewhere in the middle of the island is a swamp on the floor of an old caldera , actually a pocket sized rain forest interrupted by bogs and marshes. the canyon on the other hand is bone dry. Gorgeous pics below.

In the gift shop, we saw a gameboard, modern reproduction of a hawaiian game called Konane. We tried a couple of games on it but couldn't buy it, luggage limitations. Took a picture. Here, try it yourselves.

On our last morning, we were invited to attend a Hindu morning service. The temple was completely exotic, the ceremony reminiscent of a Catholic mass. Same sense of ritual, sonorous foreign sounding chants (The Catholic Church's biggest mistake was abandoning Latin IMHO), symbolic actions with obscure meanings. The outside observer feels like an outsider, probably by design. No pictures of the ceremony of course, just a few shots of the temple and grounds allowed.

One more flight and an evening in Honolulu. A neighbor of our original hosts had decided to give hosting a try and we were the test case. I hope we introduced Liz (her name, just like my beautiful wife's) to the B&B business well. She would make a fine addition to Airbnb. Next morning Merv gave us a lift to the cruise ship. A totally new phase has begun!