It was a quiet week in.....................

Tomakin Bay, high 50's to low 60's and rainy. Most of the week was spent visiting with real Aussies, reading and watching Aussie TV (Much like American TV with really bewildering sports news and political issues never imagined in the states, like how to make sure the poor get proper dental care). A lot of time spent in the local Sportsman's club, a sort of gambling club for pensioners (honest, that's the word for us old farts) with good food at a very attractive price. Coffee, however cost just the same as beer. Sheaf Stout doesn't have any caffeine but tastes just fine. I'd wake up in the morning listening to the sounds of an old Tarzan movie. Honest, those sounds were taped in Australia. No mistaking the laugh of a Kookaburra.

The last day, it cleared up some, giving us a chance to see what we were missing. Glorious white sand beaches stretching for miles, high cliffs showing millions of years of stratification, beautiful birds, palm trees and unfamiliar flowers. Not to worry, our next stop would show us more of the same, only more so.

Friday the 9th we bid farewell to our very comfortable timeshare and headed a couple hundred kilometers (kilometres, in the local idiom) to Pam and George Gibbons, another of Liz's Affordable Travel Club contacts. Hell of a nice couple. George had spent 40 or so years as a commercial fisherman and hobby farmer up in Queensland before finally settling down in Mallacoota, on the southeast coast. Now the proud operator of a 110 year old cruise boat with a more than passing resemblance to the African Queen. He proudly recited the many powerplants that had shoved this fine hull over the lakes, from a hit-and-miss kerosene burning lump to its present 4 cylinder japanese diesel.  Pam had been a tennis star in her youth and ran the farm when George was gone fishing (most of the time). she now helps with the cruise boat which is scheduled according to their whim and the availability of tourists.

  On the way to Mallacoota, we'd stopped at the whalingmuseum in Eden. One hell of  a strange story there. Once upon a time in the mid to late 1800's, the people of the fine town managed to hunt whales without the benefit of ocean-going ships. The whales would pass close to shore on their way to and from the Antarctic. They were aided in this by a pack of killer whales who'd kick up a fuss just off the docks while the rest of the pack were herding the whales closer to shore. One of them - Old  Tom, would even pull the boats by way of a tow line to get them to the kill faster. Sometimes he'd even seize the harpoon line and help pull the whale in. All the elements of a tall tale, right? Old Tom died in 1930 and his carcass washed up on the shore of the harbor. They knew it was him by the wear on the teeth on the left side of his mouth from towing the whaleboats. They saved his skeleton and decided to open a museum in his honor. To add another element of strangeness to the story, no more packs of killer whales came to Eden ever again. That was the end of whaling in Eden.

Mallacoota is a nice quiet community with a seaside camping park capable of accomodating a tourist population larger by far than the resident one. Since we were there before the Christmas holidays, the town was open to us with no waits for anything. We understand that would not be the case in a couple of weeks. Again, miles of open beach backed by sheer cliffs full of wildlife. We saw our first kangaroos. Just out of town, on the golf course. And I thought geese were a nuisance! Imaging having to shoo a  dozen or so 4-to-6 foot hopping beasts off your ball. Later Pam and George took us to a horse farm where several dozen were grazing peacefully alongside the horses.  We also saw an amazing variety of birds, the names of which I have quite forgotten, many of the parrot family including larakeet and ghala. Amazing colors and calls. Finally found out what the kookaburra looks like. A surprisingly small bird for its big voice. Still haven't seen a wombat in the wild. Don't really expect to, residents count themselves lucky to see more than one a year except as roadkill.

We're now in Melbourne. I'm finally reconciled to driving on and from the wrong side. If only I could stop signalling with the windshield wiper. Still having fun watching Liz get in under the wheel and blinking in surprise. The drive here from Mallacoota was actually fun. Fine cattle country. Big pastures of long grass shading into almost-mountain hills. Lots of cattle, both beef and milk. An aside - the El Camino and Ranchero are not dead, they just relocated to Holden and Ford of Australia. Also there's a variant of the pickup known as a trayback, sort of a flatbed with low hinged sides and back and much more adaptable. Oh yes, Liz just reminded me; bodyshops are health clubs, you take your car to a panel-banger. Our first stay in a youth hostel, with several more to follow, including one in Alice Springs andanother in Cairns over Christmas. If they're all as nice as this one, no regrets. It's not nearly as cheap as Affordable Travel though it would be if one traveled as a single. Dorm-type beds run about $25 a night while private rooms for a couple cost about $80. Less than half the price of a hotel, even so. Just have to go down the hall to the rest room. We spent the day touring the city courtesy of a free city-circling tram, followed by a free guided tour of Federated Square (they're quite proud of it- roofed over the railyards and built several culture-related buildings in the resulting space) then got on a free tourist bus that covered the city in more detail that the tram. Not bad for the one full day we're here.

Cruise and Sydney

Liz has already given you an extensive review of the cruise (see 2 previous posts – we’ve been away from the net for a while, posted everything at once!), so I'll just throw in a few extra comments and let it go at that. Living on a cruise ship for a few weeks is like entering the land of the lotus eaters. You drift from one day to the next in luxury, sampling gourmet foods every night, eat yourself sick if that's your thing. The entertainment staff has several things going at once. We had a great lecture series with Milos Radakovich, a naturalist often featured on PBS. Also astronomy lectures and some on Hawaiian history. Of course, you could gamble full time, soak up sun by the ship's pool, take in a movie, make a candlenut lei, or just goof off. At night shows were in the main auditorium or musical performances in half a dozen bars.

Of course, halfway through the cruise we stopped in French Polynesia. Four islands in all: Tahiti, Morea, Raiatea and Bora Bora. Yes, all were absolutely beautiful. I especially enjoyed an afternoon on the beach in Morea marveling over the coral with gorgeous tropical fish nipping at my feet. Not so much the sunburn. However, after a month in Hawaii, briefly seeing French Polynesia was a touch disappointing. A whole island to discover and only half a day to do it in! Like being allowed a single sip at the Guinness brewery. Just pop in, take a sip and go. Frustrating.

A Corona commercial come to life

Eventually we entered Sydney Harbor. Come on, you've seen pictures of this all your life. It really is as beautiful as the photographers tell you, especially just at dawn. Still, I consider it a testimonial to my character that I left the ship under my own power rather than being dragged off kicking and screaming.

Sydney Harbor is huge! At 5 AM there were city lights on either side of the ship and we moved right along and still didn't dock ‘til nearly 6. Right between the opera house and the famous bridge. A lot of harbor is still past the bridge. A map of Sydney shows it's actually built up around a series of little harbors with the main one eventually tapering into a river. Okay, it's actually an estuary.

We got through customs with little fanfare by about 7:30, carrying everything we have - 2 backpacks and 2 smaller bags. Gotta be able to move quickly and easily. Of course, my backpack weighs about 35 lbs. and Liz's 20. Oh, I forgot 10 or so in the travel vest.

On the streets of Sydney, 8 in the morning with only the vaguest idea of where our Affordable Travel Club hosts were to be found. Once again, Liz is a master (mistress?) planner and manages to conjure up contacts all over the world with just an internet connection and (I suspect) a wiggle of her bewitched nose. Ray and Wendy Volpatti live in Five Docks, a convenient and therefore expensive suburb of Sydney with (of course) a cute little harbor nearby. The friendly man in the bus ticket information booth was incredibly helpful. 10 minutes and 80 bucks later we had full directions, a handful of bus maps and two tickets capable of whisking us anywhere we wanted to go in the Sydney area by bus, train or ferry for a full week. We only needed three days, but the system isn't all that flexible, that was still the cheapest way to go. By 9 or so we were there and had our room and the spare key. By 10:30 we were back in downtown Sydney on a quest for a 3G connection for an elderly I-phone. Personally, I believed this to be a wild goose chase. I was wrong. The month's connection cost 30 bucks. The fun part was getting the phone unlocked. I'm still a little unclear on what that means except that it involved going to a little shop on a side street and handing over 50 dollars cash and a warning not to try to update the operating system and not mention his name to Apple. Hey, we at least have a net connection (abysmally slow, tiny phone screen and that miserable virtual keyboard) and a phone. Even a couple of adaptors to plug our American prongs into Australian sockets.

Ray advised a free walking tour of Sydney, meeting between St. Andrews Church and the Queen Victoria Building. Matthew, in his bright green shirt, led us on a 3 hour tour(!) of the general area, walking our legs off. He kept up a running commentary, very informative, full of information and so rapid fire, I have no true recollection of just where we were geographically and a spotty memory of what we saw. Pictures were snapped on the run. On the other hand, we could never have seen so much so quickly. I was particularly impressed by Hyde Park (why, yes, I do think there's another one somewhere.) and the Rocks, the old part of town. Lots of horrific stories of that time and area. Not that I remember any specific one. At the end, we gave Matthew a nice tip and got back on the bus to Five Docks. Dinner out and fall into bed exhausted. 

Next day, breakfast with Ray and Wendy (we like Wheat Bix cereal), some good conversation and tips on what to see on our whirlwind tour. Bus to ferry to Manly Bay. Really cool place. Riviera, Key West, Lahaina, the Lido, international like that. Brick paving, well worn, very fancy shops on the promenade, a gorgeous beach, unfortunately unseasonably cool, didn't bother with swimming. Sort of randomly got on a bus we understood was going to North Point and ended up instead at the Quarantine Station. Big History! Shiploads of people were quarantined if there was a hint of trouble, mid-late 1800s to mid-1900s. According to your shipboard accommodations it could be anything from a nice vacation to hell on earth. It's now a pricey retreat. Damn nice view too. Spotty bus service meant a long walk back to civilization. We spent the rest of the day riding the ferries, seeing the Maritime Museum (from outside, damn thing's expensive and it was getting late) and enjoying the view from the ferries.

Mike with Ray and Wendy, our hosts on this leg of our trip.

Okay, time to say goodbye to Ray and Wendy (Very nice, interesting folks, wish we'd made more time to talk with them.) and go rent a car. A little Hyundai. Thankfully an automatic, not the stick originally contracted for. Did you know they drive on the other side of the road over here? And put the steering wheel way over on the other side? That some of the controls are reversed and others are not? The idea of driving here was ........ Interesting? ............... Daunting? ...........Frightening?  So was the actuality. Luckily, there was a clear route out of town and then a lot of straight road to get me accustomed to it. Ray had drawn up a list of things to see between Sydney and Woolongong (I LOVE Australian place and animal names!). We managed to see them all, albeit at a breakneck pace: Royal National Park (World's second oldest national park, just behind Yellowstone), hang gliding cliffs, Buddhist temple, lighthouse and blowhole, etc. All in all a very ........interesting 300 kilometers to our week's timeshare near Bateman's Bay. By the end I was ready to curl up and suck my thumb. They tell me I'll get used to passing cars on the wrong side. I wonder if I'll get used to seeing all those middle fingers. Halfway to our timeshare, I needed gas. Stopped at a station but had some trouble with the pump. No place for my credit card. Went inside and asked how one went about getting petrol (oxygen is a gas). "Why, you pump the petrol and then pay me. You're an American, aren't you?" I admit my jaw dropped. When you go to Australia, set your watch back 30 years.

Liz on the Celebrity Century

The Century typically carries 2000 passengers and 850 crew members. 900 Australians are on this trip almost all from NSW (New South Wales) and then mostly Sydney and its surrounding towns. That is like having 900 people from Illinois on a ship mostly from around Chicago. I imagine that some travel agents in Sydney got a call to load up this ship. The agents made up cheap trip packages including air fare to Honolulu and a hotel with transfer to Waikiki to fill up the ship. This cruise is a first and may not repeat. This ship may continue by touring between Australia and New Zealand. Or visit other islands like Samoa and Fiji when it next returns to Hawaii.

The Celebrity Century is a 5-star floating hotel. Decks 3 and 4 house the crew. Passengers with possible need of medical attention also may request Deck 4. On Deck 7 the crew has a pool that is not visible on the map of the ship. Mike and I have an inside cabin on Deck 5. It is a standard cabin with 3 closets, (2 closets for hanging clothes and 1 closet with shelves and drawers. A safe is behind the dressing table mirror. We do not use the safe or the mini bar fridge. I often shower in the health spa after morning exercise but our bathroom is spacious for a ship and kept very clean, just like our bedroom. The crew and wait staff are generally foreign and 3^rd world. Our stateroom attendant is Zainal Hassan, an Indonesian. He delivers a pitcher of water and an ice bucket twice a day.

We attended every talk with Milos Radakovitch, a former NPR personality, a scientist from California who arrived in America as a young boy with Serbian parents. 

During our first 5 days at sea I went to a Hula class every morning at 9 am.  The teacher, June was so pleasant that the steward told me if she were any more pleasant they’d have to drug test her. She made each Hula movement come alive. Our graduation was the last day before we arrived in Tahiti. June and another excellent cultural speaker, Kalani Brady M.D. left the ship to return to Hawaii when we made port. They both really enriched my trip and further built appreciation of Hawaiian culture and navigational and astronomical knowledge.

June taught us to express so much with Hula. I loved it. We hitchhiked, pulled in fishing nets and put hand over hand and wiggled our thumbs like fish (Uma Uma). We mimed eating (kau kau) food (lau). Lau Lau leads to the familiar word, luau. We gestured little grass shack, beach, ship, wave. If you raise your arms too high it is a tidal wave. Swimming strokes go to the left or right. A center stroke means to ride a horse. Love is shown by crossing arms left over right. One very true lyric “Where I live there are rainbows.” stands out. I never saw so many rainbows in all my life. Life cycle is mimed by crossing hands in front of the pelvis to show birth and raising them to show aging.  When the hands reach the top death is expressed. With our fingers crossed we show that upon death we turn into stars. Umi is the call to move hips around in a circle. Kick is the call to swing hips left to right. Huli is the call to turn. Hula was great for me emotionally. I’d hula again any time. 

We crossed the equator enroute to French Polynesia; a pollywog is someone who has not crossed the equator. We received Equator Line Crossing Certificates from our ship’s Greek Captain Isidoros Karamaounas.

Announcements are read in English, then German and no other languages. I met a French-speaking Swiss woman and a Spanish woman but they obviously do not represent populations that warrant officially broadcast language translation. Among the passengers are people of color from the west coast of North America and also Australia. I am friendly with a female Haitian medical tech from Chicago in exercise class, a Japanese-Canadian couple who are accountants in Victoria, British Columbia. They only attend exercise class when they cruise. I like a Hawaiian pediatric intensive care nurse named Jean (I met 3 women named Jean on the ship.) from California in hula class.

Our dinner table has 7 diners, all Australians except for us. The Hawaiian word for family, ohana comes to mind since we shared our evening meals including Thanksgiving with these folks. Ivey and Jean are widows and travel together. Trevor and his wife, also named Jean join us for dinner faithfully. One night Jean was sick so Mike and I sat Trevor in between us. He is hard of hearing, says little and has Parkinson’s. He is retired from Australia’s only and oldest nuclear research facility. His hearing loss is due to rifle shooting competitions. Ivey is lively, shapely and attractive for her 72 years. She was widowed by 2 husbands; one died at age 30 of cancer and the next had a heart attack at age 42. Her father was a successful Jewish business man but changed his name to Jones and her mother forgot what his real name was. Ivey’s 50 year old son is bipolar and she appreciated my suggestion to put his inheritance in a trust. Ivey’s girlfriend Jean is watching her weight and usually goes to exercise class every morning at sea.  Jean told me how recently her son’s father died suddenly from a heart attack shortly after a lung cancer diagnosis. He thought he was so healthy while he puffed on cigarettes until it was too late. Jean is sad that her x-husband’s second wife will get his entire estate and that their son losses his inheritance due to this negligence. The father’s spoken intention was to leave something to their son. No wonder people hate step-mothers. It is simply not in a man’s nature to go to a lawyer and work out a will. Mike and I took care of our estates for our children. Thanks to our proximity to UAW Legal, our will is complete and our children are assured their respective inheritances. If I mention money too often in this Blog it is to tell the reader that our travel is affordable. We are not spending on bottled water, booze, souvenirs, etc…. We are not spendthrifts and our retirement savings are untouched.

Jean spoke as if she were warning me, trying to shock me out of denial. I asked her how old he was when he died. I said in that case I get 8 years with Mike. Mike thinks he’s got 25 years to go; his relatives are long lived. I am determined to enjoy my life and mind my own business about Mike’s smoking since if I die before he does then I worried over nothing. Meanwhile Mike bought a carton of cigarettes at the ship’s duty free store for $18. This is the only carton Mike has ever bought because he tries not to have more than a pack of cigarettes on hand.  Taxes on cigarettes in Australia were recently raised by $3 so now a single pack of 40 costs between $15 and $18. Public health matters in Australia per the advertising we see.  

On Day 5 of our cruise we were informed that we do not have visas on file for Australia. Our Air Treks ticket agent said that she would apply for them but we do not have them. We spent $11.25 or .75 per minute on the internet to request electronic visas for Australia. Celebrity insisted that we get these visas before we might get to an internet café in Tahiti. The web site Celebrity sent us to charged $20 per visa. Mike said, “Get it done.”, so we got visas for Australia. If internet were not so slow I would have asked Sarah at Air Treks to get our visas. This $51.25 expense is a minor casualty of too many trips stacked up against each other. I had my focus on visas for Vietnam and India. Otherwise we buy a tourist visa at the point of entry. We even have our photo ready.

Meanwhile we are paying the ship’s automatic tipping charge. Unlike other cruise lines like Carnival and Royal Caribbean which constantly and annoyingly exhort passengers to tip the crew, Celebrity bills us $11.50 per day. The bill for tips will be approximately $414. One Australian couple told us that they requested to be removed from automatic tipping. I find it a relief of conscience not to be worried that I might slight any service person. Under the program we pay our waiter, Ryan from the Philippines $3.65 per person per day. He has a wife, a 9 year old and 2 week old daughter that he won’t see her for another 3.5 months but he speaks to them via internet every day, he told us. Navarro, his assistant waiter is from Honduras and earns $2.10 per person per day. The restaurant management gets $1.00 per person per day. The stateroom attendant gets $3.50 per day from each of us.

We do not have a single woman attendant to tip. When I realized this I spoke to the ship’s desk and asked why. Coincidence, I was assured. I asked my table companions if they have a female stateroom attendant. All 7 said “No”.  I asked Ryan, our waiter how many females were waiters. He said the crew had one female head waiter and 3 assistants (out of over 200), down from 5 assistants. Females in a position to earn tips are scarce indicating gender discrimination. Females in cruise ship customer relations are plentiful but then they are similar in class to passengers. They might be our daughters so no barrier is broken there. I raised the issue in a public question and answer session with passengers and the Cruise Director, the Captain and 3 executives. About 300 passengers were in the theatre asking various questions. The most popular issue raised was that the ship provides passengers no laundry facility and the ship’s laundry is very expensive. I asked about the lack of females and they said they were 25% of crew. I said females are not working in positions where tips are paid.  The ship’s executive in charge of hotel services went so far as to say that these jobs are too hard for women. The cruise director, Ian Crisswell interrupted to say that newer ships are different. Each ship has a unique character. I let it go with that but I wrote a pointed comment about the executive who is limiting women on the ship. Other departments have women and lots of women work in the kitchen but woman are rarely receiving tips. 

One day a sous chef (chef in charge of chefs) gave a galley tour. He is from India. He said that he worked in Dubai for 4 years and then in a hospital in Kuwait in 4 years. He was hired by Celebrity through an agency and has been with Celebrity for over 9 years.

Food is so central to a cruise and the menus are vast. Forgive me since discussing food can be so tedious or cause the reader to wander off for a snack. When we enter the dining areas, a crew member squirts antibacterial hand sanitizer on our hands. For breakfast I like grilled bananas in a sweet sauce. The dish does not have a label so I don’t know if it is called Bananas Foster. The Australians were really impressed to see bananas because they cost $14 per kilo since a storm wiped out their crop. I like a Swiss cereal called muesli instead of oatmeal or griths, same a grits. I add berries and a fig to my muesli. Fresh fruit like pineapple and melons ring my chimes. From the pancake counter I choose blintzes. I like lox with onions, capers and tomato on a toasted bagel. For lunch I find myself going to Asian Delights, mostly Indian food that is not as good as Rangoli’s in Auburn Hills. I wrote that they could serve better Indian food as a comment too.  For dinner the menu has an always available standard menu (like escargot, Caesar salad, lobster bisque, prime rib) but mostly we order from the unique daily menu. I usually follow the head chef’s suggestions from Celebrity corporate. Bavaroise must be Bavarian; it is a deliciously subtle sauce with maybe a coffee flavor served only one time with a torte. Australians explained their confusion since what Americans call appetizers, they call entrees. Tips are included in Australia. They were shocked when cab drivers demanded tips in Honolulu.

Since twice being prescribed iron pills to ward off anemia, I look for dark leafy greens. Every day our waiter Ryan asks us how is the food. One day craving greens I ordered the vegetarian main dish Spinach Ravioli. The portion of spinach did not fill a tablespoon (and the cheese gave me gas). In my comment card I request kale, Swiss chard, rapini, mustard greens, dandelion greens and turnip greens. After reflecting upon my trite list of what I like to eat on the ship, it occurred to me that greens are missing from the ships menu. Mike says that I don’t really write in so much as I write lists but writing lists leads to considerations like noting the omission of greens.   

What does the crew like to eat? The crew’s meals are Indian, Jamaican and Filipino cuisine. Unserved leftovers are served to crew. The kitchen prepares a 10% overage on any given dish and within 4 hours that is served to the crew. What is thrown out is ground up and fed to fish 12 miles off shore.   

While I was touring in the galley, Mike went to an engine room discussion but it was not live and actual. The talk he heard really referred to newer ships than the 30 year old ship we are on. He just saw photos and layouts. The charge for a live and actual tour of the ship is $150.

Every other day or so while at sea I attend the 7 am exercise class with 30 minutes stretching followed by 30 minutes of abdominals. I did not go every day because my abs and legs got sore. I am soft from missing my gym and exercise routine. The ship’s classes are run by a fitness coach tag team, Nicoletta from Hungary and Eric from New Zealand. I attended Nicoletta’s talk on How to Increase Metabolism. She spoke to a dozen women and one man. She got us to raise our hands about setting exercise and weight loss goals. She usefully divided exercise into 2 types, cardio and resistance. Examples of cardio are exercises that leave someone breathless and sweaty like jogging, spinning (a vigorous bike ride) or elliptical workout. Examples of resistance are stretching, abs, light weight lifting, a walk on deck or stair climbing. Nicoletta asked, “Which category of exercise best increases metabolism?” The answer is resistance. Resistance causes a slow burn and really raises metabolism. Then she went on to divide physical goals into exercise, diet and detox. She concluded by selling a $35 work up and then consuming blue-green algae in order to detox for $100 – 200 per month for 180 days.          

Liz on the Celebrity Century on the Sea after visits to French Polynesia, only 3255 nautical miles to Sydney

We visited 4 islands over 4 fast days, Tahiti’s capital, Papeete, then Morea, Raiatea and Bora Bora, 3255 nautical miles away from Sydney, Australia.

We dashed into Papeete to drop off laundry for $25. The laundry saved a sunscreen blouse so it was worth it to me.  Then we sent out the Blog. Sending out the Blog took 90 minutes and cost $13. We are annoyed that we did not send Ray Volpatti in 5 Dock, Australia a note to say to expect us on Nov. 30.  The French impressionist Paul Gauguin is the biggest celebrity to ever touch Tahiti but none of his art remains in Tahiti because it is too valuable. Gauguin’s dwelling place is a tour we missed.

   

The water in Morea with the mountain back drop is why we came to French Polynesia. It is utterly beautiful. In Morea the Celebrity Century anchored in Baie d’Opunoho (Volcano Bay) and tenders took us to shore. We paid $5 each for a quick cab ride to a resort with a nice beach with a reef and gorgeous fish. I wore my prescription goggles and saw the reef and fish clearly. The trigger fish bite (because we were too close to their houses)! We also got sunburned for the first time so far this trip. I hope it is the only time. I wore my sunscreen shirt over my swimsuit but my thighs are slightly burned and my face feels warm. Maybe in Singapore I will look for the type of swim clothing Europeans (especially children) wear with long sleeves and short legs. Thank you to my family member who (I wish I remembered who) for Christmas gave me a tube of Bull Frog face crème. I’ve worn it before but let my guard down today. Mike’s chest got pink but he is tough and ever uncomplaining. We looked down from Morea’s volcano Belvedere to Baie d’Opunoho and Baie de Cook. Captain Cook got here too, not just to Hawaii. After our relaxing beachside morning and after noticing that we’d gotten too much sun we hired a cab driver to take us around for a mere $30 each. Mike made sure we did not dawdle so the driver, Mattie could get more fares. As he said he had to make a living once so he knows what it is like and they don’t get a ship there every day. Hence the saying, someday when my ship comes in…

To illustrate how related French Polynesian and Hawaiian languages are “Thank you” in French Polynesia is “Moraro” instead of “Mahalo” which they say in Hawaii. I asked our driver Mattie if Morea wanted independence from France and she said no, that the French do a lot for the islands, just that the French are not friendly. One explanation for French interests is that the French tested their nuclear weapons on neighboring islands so out of guilt and vacation enjoyment they built infrastructure like narrow paved roads.

Morea’s currency is French Polynesian Francs.  An image of a Morea mountain shouts out “Bali Hai” from the musical and movie South Pacific on their 50 franc coin. South Pacific was actually filmed on Kauai and after seeing the Wiamea Canyon, that makes sense but nonetheless, Morea is stunning with dramatic mountains plus the water with reef lines causing various shades of blue, a thrill like sea water in the Bahamas. Mattie pointed out an archeological site for the first temple in French Polynesia. Mattie said that she attends a Protestant church.  She said they have solar but we did not see any panels in Morea or anywhere else in French Polynesia. Her vehicle’s gasoline smelled dirty and we worried that it is black market gasoline and not properly refined. She pointed out a large shrimp farm and drove us through a pineapple plantation so we were satisfied with our brief island trip. 

After Morea the ship stopped at Raiatea. It was Sunday and the day of rest is taken very seriously. We got up early and took the first tender to shore for a 25 minute trip. The few natives there looked discombobulated because we arrived where we were not expected. A woman told us that our captain was a wimp for not going into their port, that is was sufficiently deep. It was hot. We looked around in an air conditioned grocery store and an appliance store with toys. Truly Mike was tired and probably fevered by sunburn. When he did not want to rent a motorcycle, I knew it was time to go back to watch football. Raiatea is relatively prosperous and they do not need us. They export vanilla flavoring and Tahitian Noni. Tahitian Noni is not to be confused with the cheaper Hawaiian Noni that is sold by Costco. Noni is an awful tasting and extremely expensive guava juice that is marketed by a pyramid scheme. I went to a Noni party in Metro Detroit 10 years ago. It was full of testimonials as to Noni’s cure all properties (rheumatism, macular degeneration, muscles, nerves, etc..). The sales implication was that Tahitians simply are not ill and only recently built a hospital and their phenomenal pain free 100 year life expectancy is due to Tahitian Noni. (I believe in good tasting Michigan cherry juice instead.) I was happy to return to the ship and have a day to rest.        

The ship stopped at Bora Bora the next day but we took our time going ashore. We took a $25 per person tour in a truck. Our native driver and guide Bill had a heavy French accent and was hard to understand. He said something about adoption and being raised in Marseilles but he did not seem to have a wife or children of his own. We were 4 couples; 2 Australian and another American couple from Florida. The Florida wife proudly described their happy union (I thought I was the only one to talk like that). They recently married the second time after both being widowed and meeting at their 50^th high school reunion. Her husband, Bob sat next to the driver to more easily get his fat self in and out of the truck. Bob told me that he booked the cruise once they lowered his price and assured them an ocean view suite with a butler. (Some people do not like to hang up their clothes, I guess.) Mike talked to him long enough to discover stiff political differences over John Kerry so they sat apart after that. Bill told us that Bora Bora had 25 hotels but lost 5 since 2008 due to downturn.

We saw their defunct Club Med. I stayed in a Club Med in Port St. Lucy, Florida with Ben in 1994 and we both loved it.  New York TV played a commercial over and over, “The Club Med vacation, the antidote for civilization…” The Club Med staff taught the guests’ children to give shows for their parents. Ben was a circus acrobat and then sailor in South Pacific.  Club Med clients were very loyal and expected to return year after year. I told them that I was moving to Michigan and as far as I could tell people in Michigan vacation in Michigan. An elderly lady from France said that Michigan was like France in that regard, such a beautiful place that residents did not leave it. Bob reported that Club Med went bankrupt 3 years ago.  Club Med was triple financed, that is a crime and that the assets will be tied up in court for years to come. 

We saw thatched bungalows for the St. Regis, Sofitel and Meriden hotels. When I asked Bill about solar panels or solar energy he did not know. Bob dismissed solar as too expensive. He said that they do better by turning over bottles and caulking the bottle ends into ceilings to catch light.  Poor places like the Philippines afford very little electricity. Implied is that how they see at night is simply not affordable and without merit. We stopped at a bar called Bloody Mary’s. Then Mike asked the driver Bill to take us up the mountain and so Bill took us up a really rough dirt trail with a great view.  Female passengers were terrified of flipping over and we worried that we hurt Bill’s tip.     

Sommeliers (wine stewards) and liquor bar staff are in different departments. The money spent on alcohol on the ship would probably appall judgmental me who thinks that such spending is the height of wastefulness. Sommeliers (wine stewards) and liquor bar staff are in different departments.  Boddington’s Beer on the ship is $8. Mike had one on a weekend day when he’d otherwise be at home watching football. He had a beer on the beach in Morea for $4. An Australian at the beach fostered our appreciation for the Morea beach bar staff when we told us that he tripped and spilled his beer. He told that to the waitress when he ordered another beer and she did not charge him. Australians were impressed and said that a free refill of a spilled beer would not occur in Australia.

We tendered back to the ship from Morea with mostly young crew members in the kitchen staff. They must return one hour before passengers. They really like shore days since their work load is less and they have a fun break. A lot more tattoos are on the crew since of course most passengers are retirees.  Mike jokes that he is the average age of 64 since there are only a dozen children on the trip. The only passenger that I notice with tattoos is a 45 year old female firefighter from San Francisco.

While we were at the beach in Morea some crew members joined us. I asked one where he was from (my stock question of anyone) and he said Bali. I told him that we will be in Bali on Jan 16 and he said he was going back on Jan 18. He said that deluxe accommodations in Bali are $50 per night. I asked his name and he said Budi. While dining as the ship is pulling away from Bora Bora, he appeared at our table in the fine suit and tie of a restaurant manager. Budiarta from is Bali. He was taken by the complexity of our retirement trip. In his imagination we were returning to our home and then taking another later vacation to Bali.  Our dates in Bali are Jan 16 – 22 and Budi made a note. Then we belatedly thought to give our waiters’ captain our card (The Long Vacation/ Liz and Mike Thelen) and asked him to pass the card on to Budi. He told us that Budi is the ship’s Assistant Maître’D, simply the best! So affordable deluxe lodgings in Bali are assured.

Another good piece of travel assistance came from Terry and Sue, Australians from Queensland who advised us to look up “Relocation Camper Van.com”. The site covers both Australia and New Zealand. We expect to fly to Queenstown in the South Island and return with a camper van for the mere cost of returning the van. Terry repeated twice, $1 per day. We want to see the fjords on the South Island and now we know how to proceed. Terry discussed 1424, a book about a Chinese eunuch admiral who explored other lands almost 100 years before Columbus. In turn we told them about Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs and Steel. Mike gave them some electronic books. Typically they travel 5 times per year, 3 times abroad and 2 times inside Australia. They will visit Vancouver in a few months and plan to stay with members of ATC (Affordable Travel Club). They really know how to pack light. They toured India and recommend it heartily. They retired by selling their nursery, garden store and restaurant. They did the landscaping for the Sydney Olympics.

After Bora Bora the weather looked weirdly overcast, humid and gray. The ship rocked and bucked hard whereas the previous days had been smooth sailing.  One passenger explained to me in passing that we are on a trajectory of wide open seas with no island masses to slow rough seas.    

The Celebrity Century prints a news summary every day for the US, Britain, Australia, South America and Germany. The rack for French and Dutch is empty. Obviously we read the US paper and have added the Australian, Canadian and British papers. We know Julia Gillard is the prime minister of Australia. She is not popular with the passengers.

One wire from AAP (Australian Associated Press) says that Qantas has a PR disaster on Twitter. Since our interior flights are with Qantas we are watching them in fear of a strike. The Twitter comment that summed it up was “qantasluxury means sipping champagne on your corporate jet while grounding the entire airline, country, customers & staff.”

The Australians have no clue about the US health care. They have national health care, and a balanced budget. To explain health care in the US, I told about a nurse in my finance class at Walsh College in 2006. She worked 3 12-hour shifts per week in the ER on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. In our Monday night class she described her weekend ordeal to explain why she was working so hard to get her MBA. She had had 6 patients; one died, one was near death and she could only walk around and see if the other 4 were breathing. She asked the woman who died why she had waited so long. The woman said that she could not pay for it then and she could not pay for it now. Americans routinely go bankrupt for medical expenses. The Australians said that explains what the trouble is all about.

We crossed the international dateline on Friday Nov. 25 and lost Saturday, Nov 26. We went to sleep on Friday and woke up on Sunday.  

The last day we gave away the suitcase with our formal clothes to Zainal our stateroom attendant. He said that the crew donates to poor countries at Christmas. However a ship’ comedian aptly joked that if he donated his clothes to Africans, then they are not starving. Zainal is such a slight man that Jason, a larger man and our table executive is the recipient of Mike’s 2 sport coats, a tie, slacks, belt and shirt in case a passenger needs
such. The ship did pick up a Mayday and take on an injured yacht captain on its way to Honolulu. Otherwise Zainal got most of our clothes since what is too big can be made smaller.

Liz on Australia in 30 days

The cruise ship arrived in Sydney’s magnificent harbor at 6:30 AM on Nov. 30 and leave from Sydney on Dec. 28. The following is an outline of where we expect to stay in Australia. If you are an Affordable Travel Club member like my mother, Irmgard Miller (336) 694 4263 in Yanceyville, N.C. you may telephone her to get the phone # of the people we will be staying with. Be mindful of a big time zone difference.

Call Australia to discuss plans at 6 PM in Michigan which is 8 AM in Sydney.

We cannot express enough gratitude to ATC members who make the following outline possible. (I really don’t wave a wand or wiggle my nose.) Ray Volpatti a member of both Evergreen and ATC suggested we join ATC for more member choice in Australia. As I wrote in an earlier blog the gratuity for staying with an ATC member is $20 per night with an additional $10 is at the host’s discretion for an overseas visitor. ATC members have been so friendly, responsive and forthcoming with strategy that has helped to shape our trip plan. A private room for a couple in a centrally located hostel with a not private bathroom (bring your own towel) costs $84 per night. The 3-star hotel by the airport is $164.  

 We disembark with our luggage and find a telephone store right away to get Australian phone service, 0432073695, with maps but not navigation with turn-by-turn directions. It gives us internet for e-mail, Facebook and such. We look up Evergreen members Ray and Wendy Volpatti’s address in Five Dock. We call them and announce our arrival. We stay with Ray and Wendy for 2 nights and sight see in Sydney. On Dec. 2 we pick up a Thrifty rental car (no Enterprise here and Alamo does not allow a 1-way rental) and drive to a timeshare, The Moorings in Tomakin near Bateman’s Bay. Via car is the only way to get there.  Then Dec. 9/10 we spend 2 nights in Mallacotta with ATC (Affordable Travel Club) members named George and Pam Gibbons. Phil Dunstan suggests we visit a whaling museum in Eden, near Mallacotta that shows the incredible intelligence of whales.

On Dec. 11 and 12 we stay in Melbourne Metro Youth Hostel and look around Melbourne.  

We stay with Phil and Jean Dunstan on Philip Island from Dec. 13-15.. Philip Island is famous for a daily penguin parade and car racing.

We return the rental car in Melbourne on Dec 16 paying $100 premium for a one-way drop. Our lodging is the hostel again for that night.

Then we take The Overland train from Melbourne to Adelaide on Dec. 17 and stay 2 nights with ATC members Gary and Jill Ottens who make us an arrival dinner. They must wear halos! The Ottens will take us to the airport too. The weekly Ghan Train for Dec 18 is cancelled for operational reasons and the railroad refunded our booking.

On Dec. 19 we fly Qantas to Alice Springs and stay in a hostel until Dec. 23. Hopefully we will tour for a day at Uluru (Ayer’s Rock). 

Then we fly to Cairns to see The Great Barrier Reef from Dec 23- 27. Since it is Christmas and high season we have 2 reservations in Cairns; a hostel and a friendly private lady with 2 white lap dogs that I found on Couch Surfing.  Just in case the lady who is quite a traveler herself has a late request from her own family or friends, some back up for lodging is not a bad idea.

Then we return from Cairns to Sydney on Dec. 27 to stay in Airport Sydney International Inn. We fly out on Dec. 28 for Auckland, New Zealand.

If Qantas Airlines operates smoothly we are set for flights within Australia. We fly LAN airlines for a 5 hour flight to New Zealand. We never heard of LAN but Air Treks broker knows LAN.  

Examples of places we will not see in Australia abound; many sites in Sydney, the Blue Mountains, Tasmania, Darwin, Brisbane and the Gold Coast (cheap golf there we heard!), Perth and the entire west coast. I considered taking the ferry to Tasmania but that means missing lots of Melbourne. The bottom line is “easy does it”. Mike is like “the goose that lays golden eggs” because he goes along with this plan. Like the goose I do not want to pressure him to produce more and spoil the trip. We need plenty of down time to make the trip fun.  If our trip goes well we may return some future winter with stateside friends or family. By the definition of Southern Hemisphere a visit to Australia and New Zealand is a fantastic way to skip winter, like nothing that a winter’s stay in Arizona or Florida may offer. 

Our tour plan for New Zealand is still a work in progress. 2 weeks simply is not long enough to see such an amazing country. We are in New Zealand from Dec 28 thru Jan 12. A passenger on the ship told us we may be able to return an RV from for example Queenstown in the South Island to the North Island for $1 per day. That would be a deal! We also have some timeshare points that begin in 2012 with an incentive for last minute bookings. So New Zealand is a blank page so far. ATC members live in New Zealand but we want to see the fjords in Queenstown which is a real tourist destination. No easy access to ATC members in Queenstown than in a destination like Waikiki or Maui.   

We fly from Auckland to Singapore on Jan. 12. So far this flight is the longest flight in our trip at 11.5 hours. We visit Singapore for 4 days before we head to Bali. Our worldly cruise dinner companion Ivey assures us how inexpensive meals are in Singapore ($4). I will not need to pack lunches in Asia due to exceptionally low prices and freshness concerns. Asia may be so hot that we only go out early and late.  We are reassured that our Asian plan is sound by those who have preceded us.  A crew member from Bali assured us of nice lodging in Bali for $50 per night. But no football for Mike let alone English.

I recently dreamt that I was sending e-mails on my phone. That is how much I miss sending notes to family and friends. I felt guilt that I was not supposed to have my phone turned on. 

        

Kaui: Estrogen Temple

On the 6th of November we flew into Kauai. Every one of the flights we took to the islands transferred through Honolulu, taking twice as long as if you could just go from island to island. We got to Lihue with no car rental and sure enough there were none available. The phone number for Tiffany, our Kauai contact only got voicemail. Well, they did have an island bus that went from Lihue to our Airbnb destination in Kapa'a fifteen miles or so away . Unfortunately this was a Sunday and the buses ran a half schedule.After two hours of waiting for a transfer we ended up at a skateboard park with 5 or so miles up Olahena Road to go. Liz, in semi-desperation, accosted a fellow in a pickup and negotiated a ride. I never spent a better twenty bucks. Just an hour before sundown with nobody actually expecting our arrival. Tiffany was on the mainland and her representative, Rhea, was new to the lodging business and was a rather casual person anyway. Nice place though. Liz was entranced with a real kitchen to work with, real drinkable water from the tap (our last two lodgings required bottled water, the tap water taken from cisterns), an actual washer and dryer, very comfortable bed, a wonderful view from the full length deck. Still no wifi connection.

View from the porch of estrogen temple

Where our Maui residence was pure testosterone, full of surfers, drifters, guys just looking for a cheap place to stay, mosquitoes, this one was soaked in estrogen. All the rooms had statues and artwork dedicated to female objects of worship for every conceivable religion, from Kali to the Madonna of Guadalupe. Different strains of incense floated through the air full time. Diaphanous drapes on the full length windows and french doors in the bedrooms and various dividers in the living room, which was huge. Sitar music, soft feminine voices sharing secrets and revelations, vegetarian potluck dinners, odd devotions involving singing in unidentifiable languages and a gong. No peyote, acid, or other proscribed substances however.

The next morning , after discovering the price of a commercial car rental on Kauai, we managed to negotiate a deal with Rhea for the house's elderly Toyota SUV. A good thing. We took Rhea into town for some shopping and I spent the trip fighting a strong pull to the right. The gas tank was VERY close to empty anyway. Stopped at a gas station, checked the right front. Outer shoulder worn to the cords, rest of the tread fine, extremely low on air. Temporary fix: overinflate the thing, get that bare spot off the road. Strong injuction to replace the tire and get the alignment looked after. Explained alignment. Blank look, vague promise. Well, I could nurse the thing along for four days.To the plus, the instrument panel had holy medals of every description and the rearview was hung with aromatic leis.

By then it was well after noon and we were told of a nearby hiking trail. Just a quarter mile up Olahena and go straight where road turns. 5 or so miles along ridges, around valleys choked with vegetation, ever uphill. Mud. Once again the intermittent Hawaii rain, sometimes drizzling, occasionally pouring, ever imminent. Lots of rainbows. Every few hundred yards, another breathtaking view. I will never sort out my files as to which beautiful view was where. As we found the other end of the trail, other hikers informed us we were about 11 road miles from home. Fortunately, yet another guy in a pickup heard our story and said he happened to live near the trailhead. Whew! Once again saved by the kindness of strangers. Liz later told me it was the first time she'd ever ridden in the back of a pickup. Some people grew up way too sheltered. No one in Hawaii we told this story to felt it was anything out of the ordinary. Just the way things work here.

Next day we did something totally uncharacteristic. We actually paid for a guided tour. Well, they had the kayaks. Only way to use them was to take the tour. Fortunately the group (14 total) took off at a reasonable hour, 10 AM. A nice orientation by our guide, John, an aside that double kayaks are known as divorce boats and off we go. It did soon become apparent Liz and I need to work on our paddling coordination. Never mind, we'll get it eventually. An hour later we beached the kayaks, shouldered our packs and headed off to the waterfall. The party consisted of all kinds, 12 years old to a few in their seventies. Should have been an easy hike, right? Aside from the waist-deep river crossing , the narrow muddy trail, the tree roots and rocks, I guess it was. Truthfully, I was surprised everyone did as well as they did. The 45 minute hike was worth it. Hell of a waterfall, nice deep cold pool. Eat our packed lunch, turn around and do it backwards. Not so bad going back even though we were paddling against the current, slow as it was. Not that we were going to do all that much the rest of the day. Just rest.

The big attraction on Kauai is Waimea Canyon on the other side of the island. Not such a big island, maybe a 2 hour drive. Like the rest of the islands, ridiculously low speed limits stretch out travel times. Worked in our favor, the Toyota had a pretty good shimmy at 50. The canyon was definitely worth the drive. Spoiler alert: Here comes the science. Kauai is the oldest of the Hawaiian Islands, about 6 million years. It used to be 10,00 feet taller than it is now, about 5,000 feet. Lots of erosion. Wierd rainfall patterns, lots of rain, 600 inches a year in places. many hidden valleys. Somewhere in the middle of the island is a swamp on the floor of an old caldera , actually a pocket sized rain forest interrupted by bogs and marshes. the canyon on the other hand is bone dry. Gorgeous pics below.

In the gift shop, we saw a gameboard, modern reproduction of a hawaiian game called Konane. We tried a couple of games on it but couldn't buy it, luggage limitations. Took a picture. Here, try it yourselves.

On our last morning, we were invited to attend a Hindu morning service. The temple was completely exotic, the ceremony reminiscent of a Catholic mass. Same sense of ritual, sonorous foreign sounding chants (The Catholic Church's biggest mistake was abandoning Latin IMHO), symbolic actions with obscure meanings. The outside observer feels like an outsider, probably by design. No pictures of the ceremony of course, just a few shots of the temple and grounds allowed.

One more flight and an evening in Honolulu. A neighbor of our original hosts had decided to give hosting a try and we were the test case. I hope we introduced Liz (her name, just like my beautiful wife's) to the B&B business well. She would make a fine addition to Airbnb. Next morning Merv gave us a lift to the cruise ship. A totally new phase has begun!